What is A Limiting Belief?

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limiting belief is a belief that you hold that keeps you from having and achieving more of what you want in your life. They are also known as negative beliefs since they are stated in a negative even though they may have a positive intent to keep you from harm.

Limiting beliefs are a big part of our inner dialogue. This is also known as self talk. Think about how you have told yourself that you can not do something and why you think that you are not capable of doing it. Is it because you have already tried every imaginable way to achieve it or is it that you have been conditioned by yourself and others to just believe it to be the truth?

An example of limiting beliefs is seen in the characters in the movie "The Wizard of Oz". The Scarecrow did not think that he was smart so he acted as if he was not intelligent. The Lion thought that he did not have courage so he acted fearful. The wizard did not give them these things he just showed them that their belief was not accurate.

Think about what you have believed about yourself or what you have heard others say about what they believe about themselves.

Here are a few examples of Limiting Beliefs:

I'm too old.

I'm too young.

I don't have an education.

I don't have enough experience.

I am too busy.

I am weak.

Everything I eat turns to fat.

I could never do that because I don't have what it takes.

I never stick to anything long enough to get good results.

I don't have natural talent.

I am not good looking.

I did not have a good start in life.

I don't deserve to be loved.

If I was successful my friends would resent me.

I have too much baggage.

Basically if you hear yourself saying "I can’t..." followed by something you wish you could do, you have just found one of your limiting beliefs.

– Rick Richardson

Fear is often behind our limiting beliefs

The fear of failure, humiliation, rejection and loss just to name a few. Think about what area of your life gives you the most anxiety and you will probably find a lot of false information, negative opinions and limiting beliefs there.

Meaning and certainty are basic human needs and our drive to find meaning and certainty manifested in our beliefs that we hold-on in order to explain the world to ourself. They give us a sense of security since they give us a way to understand what is happening around us. This is great if the belief is accurate and factual. But most of our beliefs we acquired when we were young and not capable of questioning their accuracy. Those beliefs that we acquired as we got older often are based on one or two events or that may not have been scrutinized for accuracy or they are based solely on someone else's opinion of how the world works.

The beliefs that are keeping us from what we want to accomplish are often our beliefs that we use to explain our view of the world. We hear these all the time in cliche statements and excuses that we tell ourselves like the following:

Money is the root of all evil.

Rich people control everything.

You have to be lucky to get ahead.

Glass ceilings keep women and minorities from their rightful place.

Men are pigs, they only want one thing.

Women are gold diggers.

You can’t have your heart broken if you don’t love someone.

I could never do that because I don't have what it takes.

I never stick to anything long enough to get good results.

The system is holding me down.

Real men don’t cry.

The government is making it impossible to be successful.

Only weak people ask for help.

Our beliefs have a large impact on our decisions

If the belief is based on faulty information our decisions and subsequent actions won’t have much of a chance of creating good results.

The beliefs that we have about our abilities, talents and character will create the limits to what we can achieve. If we see ourself as stupid, lazy, and incapable of changing our current experience then we will confirm our belief by living within our concept of reality. These beliefs are evidenced in our behavior. How we act in the different areas of our lives will show us what we believe. We are usually pretty good at seeing this in other people and not in ourself.

Our beliefs were formed to protect us and avoid the pain that comes from unsatisfied needs so when we set out to change a limiting belief we need to identify what it was protecting us from and replace it with a new belief that also protects us but does it in a limitless way.

How Can We Change A Limiting Belief?

To change your limiting belief you must first know what you want to achieve and what you want to improve in your life. Knowing your purpose and having goals to make a better life for yourself is going to push you to a point that your limiting beliefs will expose themselves.

Limiting beliefs are revealed when we complain or make excuses. We see them in our negative self talk and negative thoughts. They will be revealed in our actions or our lack of action like procrastination or avoiding situations that make us uncomfortable or fearful. Being aware of your thoughts, feelings and reactions to situations will indicate when your limiting beliefs are triggered. Then you can dig further at that spot.

Asking yourself questions will help you expose your limiting belief. Start with Asking yourself questions about why you want to change your life and what goals you want to achieve. The answers will reveal your doubts and fears so that you can expose the beliefs that are limiting you.

These may be questions like:

What is keeping me from achieving my goal?

What do I fear when I think about what it will take to achieve my goal?

What excuses do I make up to explain why I am not working on my goal?

What do I complain about?

What negative thoughts and assumptions do I have regarding my goal?

How important is my goal to me?

Why have I not achieved this goal so far?

What is keeping me from my goal?

Is there a reason that I don’t think I can achieve my goal?

As you write down your answers to these questions look at the answers and ask yourself these questions.

What belief do I have that is keeping me from what I say I want?

Is this belief accurate?

Would I think this belief was accurate if it was someone else saying it?

Where did I get this belief?

How is it protecting me from harm and pain?

Limiting beliefs are often lies that we thought were truths. When we expose them to the truth they will start to lose their grip on us. To find the truth we can look at the belief from a different perspective to test it for accuracy. Often we will see that it is an opinion or assumption but not a fact. Look for evidence to disprove your belief, don’t worry about trying to prove it, because if it is accurate and factual and not just opinion then there will not be any evidence to disprove the beliefs accuracy.

Now build a strong case against your limiting belief by honestly answering questions about how your limiting belief is keeping you from having the life you want.

Ask yourself the following questions:

How is this belief affecting me?

What will it cost me in the long run to keep this belief?

What will I lose by keeping this belief?

What will I think of myself if I live by a belief that is actually a lie?

What could I do if I did not have this belief standing in my way?

What might I lose if I achieve my goal?

What am I afraid of happening if I pursue my goal?

Do I need permission from someone else or am I in charge?

Replacing A Limiting Belief

Replacing the belief is a critical step in this process. After you have identified and exposed the limiting belief you need to replace it with a new belief that is empowering. This new empowering belief is without limits. It is a belief in positive change and a desire to be your best.

You do not want to take a limiting belief and try to change it by saying "I should" or "I must change". Those words keep you feeling weak and defeated. Instead of saying "I should lose weight" you will say I am focused on being healthy and everyday I do the things that a healthy person does. "I eat only healthy foods" or " I eat right and exercise and I feel healthier everyday".

Make a list of your empowering beliefs that contradict your limiting beliefs. Write them down and memorize them. Repeat them over and over several times a day. When you do this the new empowering belief will completely replace your old belief.

You are going to take your new belief and build habits around it so that you can reinforce it with positive repeated actions. Using a visualization technique daily where you see yourself acting in accordance with you new belief, achieving your goals will create the subconscious impression that you are the kind of person that can achieve your goals.

Monitor Your Self-Talk

Listen to how you talk to yourself. Do you say things like it’s impossible or I can’t? When you hear yourself saying those kinds of things stop immediately and ask yourself "How can I do it" or "How would I do it if it was not impossible?"

Also you will need to be careful to not let your old limiting belief have any chance at coming back. If your old limiting belief was formed by and reinforced by people telling you that you are limited you need to remove yourself from their influence by not being around them or asking them to keep their inaccurate option to themself. Stop frequenting the places that disempower you. That might be a bar or your couch you know where you lose your desire to be better so stay away from those places as much a possible or change them to conform to your new way of thinking. The people and places you are around will have an effect on your attitude so choose them carefully and thoughtfully.

Be Nice To Yourself

When addressing issues in your life you must see yourself as your own best friend, advocate and coach. That means that you need to stop feeling guilty or putting yourself down for having negative thoughts. Break the cycle of negative disempowering feelings and treat yourself with respect and gratitude so you can focus on positive changes instead of sitting in your old funky stink. Be grateful that you have found a way to make your life better and that you are making the changes in your life.